IC INBOX: INUGAMI

[underlined]

“Uh, hello. You've reached Keisuke... I’m sorry, but I’m not able to pick up right now. Leave me a message and I'll try to call back. Um... thanks, bye.”

[VOICE CALL, TEXT MESSAGING, AND PHOTO SHARING IS ENABLED ON THIS CELL PHONE.]

Comments

[catenate]

[Thankfully he hasn't to deal with anything as drastic as death until he came here. Maybe the death of a grandparent, but that's fairly common and due to natural causes--not because of a fighting ring that's used to gain money. Iwaizumi might survive in an environment like that, like this here in Inugami, but it takes time to fully adapt to a situation outside of your comfort zone.]

You're right about that. [He agrees, speaking softly as he tries to set out the papers for them to go through the calligraphy and the like. He waits a moment, then continues.] I wouldn't necessarily say there's harm in it, no. [He goes quiet, mulling over how to describe the feeling he has when he touches a volleyball now. It's disconnected, as though his fingers don't feel like they belong there anymore. Like it isn't even his hand playing. His eyes can see his hand there, but his mind can't connect the dots.]

I don't want to suck and have to start from the beginning again. [His throat feels tight as he admits that, it's soft and trusting of the person next to him. Keisuke, after all, is trustworthy.

Of course the bigger issue is his hand itself.] I can't feel the ends, like... the whole way it happened was pretty fucked up. I got too impatient. Too desperate. Shigeru was already fixing it, I just needed another month but... I found them. I found them in my locker.

[Even remembering that view is enough for bile to rise in his throat, teeth biting into his cheek to hold it all off. Keisuke doesn't need more reasons to be disgusted.]

[underlined]

[Keisuke just had the joy of dealing with the threat of constant death awaiting him in the place he had been taken from back home, and the city he'd been raised in hadn't been that much better. A life that Iwaizumi was used to almost sounded to idyllic to be true... If they ever managed to get out of here, or maybe outside, he hopes that the world was like the one Iwaizumi remembered. Then maybe they could have some rest from the constant fear and trauma that this school supplied to them.

Never having been very good at anything, Keisuke isn't really well-equipped to understand the struggle Iwaizumi is having here. The only skill he had ever really developed was working with machinery, being able to see where it might break and preventing that from happening (or fixing it if it did). But... he can tell that there's something raw in Iwaizumi's confession, something which Keisuke honestly feels... honored to hear. He's quiet a moment, weighing it before weighing in,] I don't think you'll ever - suck. You have the knowledge and the experience, right...? It's just - catching your body back up to that.

[Of course then he goes on to explain exactly what the state of his body entailed. Keisuke gets a little pale, not having heard the full story, feeling an uneasy pit in his stomach (mostly out of sympathy rather than anything else). It was unease sympathizing with the frustration Iwaizumi felt about his own patience that Keisuke has rather than feeling offput by what he described. Keisuke feels as though he understands his thought pattern, his haste.]

I... can understand why you went ahead, especially since they were presented to you like that. [His voice is quiet, gently compassionate, lightly supporting.] You couldn't have known how it'd turn out. You shouldn't blame yourself... n - not completely, anyway.

[catenate]

[That was definitely something to aspire to, but he isn't confident anything good will meet them on the other side. He's built up friendships over his time here too, with some more than others but there are still people he considers close. Maybe no one will ever be as close as Oikawa is to him, even if he's been driven up the wall or they've been in close quarters for too long, but they're close enough to definitely consider them true friends.

Keisuke is definitely one of those people. Especially when he seems to try so hard to make him not feel as down about things as he is.

It's charming, in a sense, but in some ways he wants to make sure he isn't biased about this either. In the end, using those fingers had been a stupid choice and he knows that better than most. Keisuke doesn't need to make hi feel better for that.]

I should have known better with what this place is like. I can't... bring myself to tell Shigeru. I don't want him to blame himself either.